CLAPPER10minfinal

“IHate My Job” by Liz Clapper 1234 Your Street City, State ZIP Code Telephone Number  FAde In: //(In Walks John, lights only on him as he steps forward to speak to the audience.)// John Let me make this very clear, I HATE my job. If I got a dollar every time someone complained about something, I would be a millionaire. I mean can’t anyone do anything for themselves anymore? Apparently not. // (John steps back lights come up John is on the phone in walks Cathy) // John Holiday Inn Express this is John speaking how may I help you?[Slight Pause] Ok, one room, would you like two queen beds or one king? // [In walks Ronda, angrily John is still on the phone] // Ronda Excuse Me Sir?  John [//John holds up one finger and mouths one second still talking on the phone]// Yes ma’am, ok so you want one room for the night of the fourteenth and two rooms for the night of the fifteenth? Do you want both rooms to have two queen size beds? ronda EXCUSE ME SIR, I have a complaint. John [//John holds up one finger and mouths one second still talking on the phone]//Ok Ma’am you’re all set, you have a great Day. // [John hangs up phone.] // John So sorry to keep you waiting how may I help you? Ronada SIR, I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE WAITING WHILE YOU WERE ON THE PHONE DO YOU KNOW HOW RUDE THAT IS  john I’m sorry, but I was HELPING ANOTHER COUSTMER Ma’am… Ronda Well it was rude, here I am with a complaint and you’re sitting her ignoring me  John (//John Sighs)// I’m sorry ma’am it won’t happen again. Now how may I help you? Ronda I got into my hotel room this morning and my bed wasn’t made, Why wasn’t My bed maid, I came down for breakfast and came back up and my room was the same way I left it… john [John stares oddly…pauses] I’m sorry ma’am but its only 9:30 room service will not clean your room until at least 11. Ronda Well How rude, john I’m sorry ma’am; it’s just the way this hotel runs. [Ronda grunts turns around and storms off the stage. John steps forward speaking to the audience] John DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN, now I really felt like saying WTF lady, you’re not coming down her at 9:30 in the morning telling me you’re room isn’t clean, what do you expect? Some little cleaning fairy to pick up your mess, that you are incapable of doing yourself. I swear I Hate My Job, and just watch she’ll try and get my fired. I call it. ( //John walks back phone rings John Answers)// John Holiday Inn Express this is John speaking how may I help you? Ok, one room, would you like two queen beds or one king? // [In walks Ronda. Ronda Stops Moving halfway between offstage and John, lights are only on John as he addresses Audience while still holding the phone in one hand.] // John Oh here we go again (Ronda continues to angrily walk towards John, John  Ronda   Excuse Me Sir?   John   [//John holds up one finger and mouths one second still talking on the phone]//  Ok your reservation is all set. You have a good day. [hangs up phone] So Sorry again ma’am, how may I help you?   ronda   I have no fresh towels where are my fresh towels?   John   Ma’am you can call down to room service and they will bring you fresh towels if you need them.   ronda   Why can’t you give them to me? I’m right here.   john   Because I don’t have them.   ronda    Why don’t you have them?    JOHN   Because I don’t ma’am, you may go up to your room and call room service   ronda   Why must I do it myself why can’t you do it?   John   Ma’am, if you simply go back to your room, there is a button on the phone that says room service, press that and tell them you need new towels to your room and they will bring them right up. Ronda Well I don’t want to go back to my room it’s a mess! John Ma’am like I said earlier, Room service will clean your room around 11; it’s not even ten o’clock yet. If you wish to have fresh towels, you may go back to your room and call room service they well make sure you get everything you need. Ronda Well what am I supposed to do until then? John Until your room gets cleaned, or you’re fresh towels arrive. Ronda BOTH! John Well ma’am there is a lot of things to see here, you could take a walk? ronda Well I can’t take a walk without a shower and I can’t shower in a dirty room with no fresh towels. Lady 1 Would you just stop asking questions you know there are other people waiting. John Ma’am I’m sorry, but room service will clean your room around 11, there isn’t anything else I can do. Ronda I would like to speak to your manager, this is simply ridiculous. John One second, (John hollers for Mark the manager,) MARK! Someone would like to talk with you. MArk Ok coming, Hello ma’am how I may help you ronda This young man has been very rude to me  mark I see, well if you would mind filling out a comment card here ma’am, I read the reviews personally and I’ll make seek out what to do from there. //(Mark hands her a comment card and a pen)// ronda What kind of place is this, you want me to fill out a comment card, and I want him to get fired! He was rude to me  mark I’m sorry ma’am but I cannot do anything unless it’s written down on a comment card. // (Ronda looks in shock grabs the comment card and walks off stage, Mark pats John on the shoulder and also walks off stage- all lights but one go out as John addresses the audience) // John CALLED IT! OH, What Now WHAT! See you people all think you can get me in trouble, what now, see if you have a problem fill out a comment card. (John struts off stage) FADe OUT